LOST IN TRANSLATION

Ok, so OBVI not everything here has been perfect, but the few bumps in the road we’ve tumbled over have been more funny than anything. For example, the not having of internet for (gasp!) a whole week.


We put a call into our landlord to ask if he would mind putting his name on the contract so we could waive the no contract fee for our less-than-one-year stay.  When I explained to the woman who worked there how it was virtually impossible to talk to Luis Cortes Cortes on the phone (a difficult task in any foreign language… facial expressions, pointing and hand movements are VERY handy!), she offered to make the call for me. Within one nanosecond of hearing Luis on the other end of the line, her eyes bugged out of her head as she moved the phone as far from her ear as her arm would allow and she did the Catholic Jesus, Mary and Joseph across her chest and face. I just looked at her and mouthed, “I’m sorry. I know.”

Luis said no, which wasn’t surprising, but within minutes of hanging up with him, I received a call from Antonio Luis. I knew immediately Luis had called him and was confused. Sure enough, in Luis’ crazy mind, he understood that we were trying to move out of the apartment. Again, any foreign language is difficult on the phone, so Antonio Luis wasn’t quite grasping what I was trying to explain to him about the contract. He said he was near the internet store and would go in and see what the deal was so he could better inform Luis. Again, this guy is my boss at my school… he is NOT my personal crisis-mender! Granted, he knows we are foreigners, but can you imagine your boss doing all this for you?! Hahahaha! Not to mention it was on a Saturday…

I told Jenna we needed to head back over there to save not only A.L, but the poor woman who worked there, who had already been sucked into the hot mess known as Luis Cortes Cortes. When we walked, in she just started laughing and said A.L. was around the corner on the phone with Luis, explaining the exact occurrence of events. She was such a good sport with all of us and even managed to hook A.L. up with a referral fee since he is an ONO customer as well. At least he got SOMETHING out of it!

Just when we thought things were over and were saying goodbye outside the store, A.L. got ANOTHER call from a raging lunatic gypsy named Luis Cortes Cortes. As A.L. hung up and looked at us, he said he needed to tell us something, but it was difficult for him to do so. In this case, it wasn’t the language that was the problem, but the subject matter. Luis had basically told my absolutely humiliated boss to tell me and my roommates not to put anything “feminine” in the toilets. *Le sigh* What else can we put this poor man through?! Thanks, boss. See ya at work.